Monthly Archives: March 2012

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tantrums galore…

ImageOkay, so we are cranky today! ‘We’ meaning the Little Monster—not me…I am never cranky…I just PMS!

Well, the first bout of crying came first thing in the morning. She decided to “borrow” flowers from the neighbours to put at our altar. Obviously, I have to find an opportunity to drill good values into her and there we started off on a tug-off war of words. Her excuse, “I don’t want it…God wants it!” See? why I don’t want her to be like me?…I take out my PMS guns at the first sight of trouble and she took out her God guns now!  My ammo against me!!

Breather…an intermission of 2 mintues flat before the next tantrum begins…

This time obviously she’s sad, the holidays have started for all her friends in the building but she still has a week more to go.
“I want to stay at home and play with Joshua (her best friend
ever since he moved next door–he “hates” purple so G “hates” purple too, which by the way was her fav after pink.)
“You need to go to school to learn…”
“But I know everything…I know snake…I know Platypus..No, I don’t know Platypus because they didn’t teach me that in school…but I know everything.”
Well, all the way to school I got the silent treatment.
After school took her to the library to try and make it up to her somehow. Happy happy finally!
But how long do you think the rainbow stays…there we go again.

Rivers of tears suddenly and I had no idea what was happening…
“Are you hurt? What happened, sweety?”
“I don’t know what to draw on the card. I am making it for you.”  Awww…my heart melted…put her on my lap and tried asking her what she would like to draw…caterpillar, house, funny face?
“No…ok..SMILEY FACE!” Tears wiped, snorts cleaned and we are ready to go. She back to her card and I back to my laptop.
2 mintues already?…Intermission ends—second half begins…

“I coloured the smiley face with the pencil…now I can’t see the eyes and the SMILE!!”

The circus continues…

Well, enough is enough…I needed to vent now I figured and got onto the blog.  Hahaha…I am going to sip on ginger tea now while G is finally taking a nap and you guys read the story of my piss off day…not that I don’t appreciate it. Do come again and listen. Its truly therapeutic!

Urrghhh…not enough ginger in the tea…


STOP daydreaming about your kid’s life…

ImageYesterday, I was driving G back from school when she suddenly looks at me and declares, “when I am big, I will do Fashion!”
Awesome! I was delighted.  My little girl wanted to be a designer just like her dad and mom…hahaha..it’s all in the blood, I say! 

So I probed her a little asking how she wanted to do Fashion, what kind of lovely clothes will she make for people? I also told her it was a great idea…It would make me really proud. Well, though she listened to my ramblings calmly she had this look on her face which clearly meant “gosh, are you dumb or something?” Apparently, when she reached the end of her patience with it, she cut me off and said in a curt manner: “I want to do fashion…like i want to have longggg hair…wear beautiful dresses…and have lovely…awesome awesome big earrings all the time…THAT FASHION, Ma.” 

And there, you couldn’t have heard the sound of my bubble burst but surely my sigh of disappointment! I was over the moon one minute and dragged down like dead weight the next.

My daughter wanted to “do fashion” so forget ballet classes and prepare to walk the ramp, baby!

One more lesson learnt:  STOP daydreaming about your kid’s life…dream about yours!!


Metamorphosis

People told me life would change but nobody warned me how I would turn into a ticking bomb!

BEFORE                                             vs.                                               AFTER

My Vanity:  

  • Mirror Mirror on the Wall…   vs.      Mirror cracks!! Its a horror story!!

My Belief:

  • Logic and reason                  vs.                         “…because I SAID SO..!!”

My Lifestyle:

  • “Let’s rock all night, baby!”   vs.   “Gosh, its 9 already…LIGHTS OFF!”

My Tantrums:

  • “You don’t spend enough time with me!”  vs.  “Leave me alone, will u!”

My Leisure:

  • long drives on quite roads  vs.  “Why aren’t there drive-thru
  •                                                                   Super Markets??!!”

My yearly Resolve:

  • “I’ll try to be a better human being”  vs.  “I will try not to let little G turn
  •                                                                                    into me!”

100 things I want to learn:

  • To fly a plane, pick a lock… vs.  Get the stench of baby puke off me

Conversations:

  • “Its a lovely day today!” vs.  “Stop trying to smell your own fart!”

What a baby means to me:

  • little bundle of joy vs.  “Little Monster who is out to get me…..HELP!!!”

Defining Motherhood

INTERROGATE:  to question formally and systematically

Son: “Mommy, you wanna see this?”

Daughter: “Mommy, can you fix this?”

Son: “Mommy, can we play a game?”

Son: “When, later?  90-hundred hours?”

Daughter: “Mommy, can you turn the light on?”

Daughter: “Where’s my step stool?”

Daughter: “Please I have paper?

Son: “Mom?”

Daughter: “Can you kiss it?”

Daughter: “Is this your purse, Mommy?”

Son: “Is today Tuesday?”

Son: “Are Papa and Nonna coming today?”

Son: “Wanna see this paper airplane fly?”

Daughter: “Where’s Daddy?”

Son: “Which airplane do you think with go the farthest?”

Son: “Can we go to the helium store?”

Daughter: “Where are my socks?”

Son: “Can you get this Lego off?”

[Time elapsed: 5 minutes]

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New lessons for both…

Last couple of days we have been out at our coffee estate where Dear Hubby needed to take care of some work. For G and me it’s a regular holiday where I get to lie on the hammock and read (five minutes uninterrupted) while she gets to make mud cakes to her heart’s content. Far far away from city life! Sounds perfect, right?…think again!  Does that change anything for a parent…guess not!

Well, one day lunch battle begins. G is pulling at the last straw and I am a few seconds away from pleading insanity. Just then, she quitely slips off the dinning chair and ever so slowly walks off into the kitchen as if she needed a sip of water and guess what…she is out the back door!  Well, no biggie….my usual reaction would have been to shout at the top of my voice demanding she get back “right NOW!” But something amazing happened…I took a breath before that excrutiating exercise which was about to begin between us and I had a revelation!!  My Little Monster is scheming…at a microscopic level, yes, but nevertheless scheming it is.
As I see it, she pretends to go get something I wouldn’t object to, she calculates the back door would be an easier access and that she can get at least a few minutes away from the clutches of the PMSaurus…I was suddenly proud of her!I

Well, the point I am getting to is that in the earlier days of being a parent, it is easier to see them as cute little dependant babies but as they are a little older, we see them as “little people” and that is when the trouble starts.

I often feel like G is out to kick my ego out the window most of the times with her smart a** comments, cooked-up stories and some super smart and calculated behaviour.  But the moment I realised that what she was really doing is growing up…getting street smart and getting ready to handle the world in her own little ways, I learnt a new lesson!  G is learning and she is learning well!!  I ought to give her credit for that and not take it personally.  I believe now that she is not out to get me…lol…she really steps on my toes though!  I promise to let her explore more ways to see how she can go around things if not through them…to look at threats…to look at options to avoid them…or to take them head on!

I’ll end this post with one of her smart a** comments:

Yesterday, when I was carrying her through the field, I told her my legs were hurting as she was getting heavier now. Her reply, “If I walk then there will be…one..two..three..four legs hurting na?” Well, nothing much for me to say!


Little Monster G

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